There's no more doubting it. The Federation's testing it to confirm for sure, but I'm a Newtype. I'm one of what Zeon Zum Daikun wrote about in his books. I'm some sort of super-...thing.
Honestly, it creeps me out. My mind keeps doing things I didn't know it could do. In the battle, I swear Char answered a thought I had, but didn't speak aloud. I'm not the only one, either. I have a feeling Char is one.
Which is at least one goddamn thing I know about Char! I saw what he did in the battle against Garma Zabi. He fired that missile. There's no way that was an accident. Why did he fire on his own leader? No answer, he just jumped out and the Zaku self-destructed, and that's the last I've seen of him. He is alive. I just don't know where, and I don't know what to think anymore.
That woman, Chini Pezzin, also. She's not Chini Pezzin. She's Haman Karn, claiming to arrive from 0087. Our future. And that suit she was using would indicate it, as I've never seen anything like it before. It wasn't even like that strange, overpowering Gundam used by one of ZEON's allies. She said I'd regret fighting for the Federation. She said she's going to change the course of the war.
But what the hell does she know?! Does she really think I'm fighting for the Federation's sake? I'm fighting for my friends. They're the only goddamn family I have, anymore, and I've resolved to keep fighting to protect them no matter how horrific things become. I promised that! So I'll ignore her for now. Or think about something else.
Shinji is a good storyteller.
Ayanami went back to NERV. I hope she's feeling better. I hope Langley is, too, even if she's still on the White Base. It's strange, the White Base never really feels all that cramped even with all the people on it, even in my stupid little closet of a room. Am I getting attached to that place? That's all well and good, but what will I do when the time comes to leave?
Who the hell will I be when the war's over?
Maybe I should think about other things. Help with the rebuilding in that Xing kingdom, perhaps. That way I can focus on something besides the war without feeling selfish.
Are Newtypes freaky? That Bernie person, really nice guy, looked at me funny when I grabbed something using those reflexes. I guess it is kind of freaky. I hope there are others on my side.
I guess my name is famous now. People recognized me.
Is this good?